Stressful situations occur every day. Some conditions are within our control and can be alleviated or changed, while others lie beyond our control. We cannot regulate things like traffic, the behavior of others, or environmental factors, but they can still bring worry, anxiety, and frustration. Learning to accept and respond to situations you cannot control will bring healthy stress management and resiliency for the future.
Identify and Acknowledge Your Stress
Managing stress begins with identifying and acknowledging our stressors. As our body reacts to stressful situations, we can’t brush them under the rug and wait for them to disappear. Learning to cope and carry on healthily can help you adapt during challenging times. Pay attention to your warning signs. While you might not always notice stressors piling on, you are more likely to see changes in your behavior, sleep, emotions, and appetite. These changes are your warning signs that it is time to acknowledge the stress and where it might originate from. Next, you’ll want to identify your relationship to the stress. Is the stressor within your control? If so, take steps to manage it directly. Is the stressor something you can partially control but may need help from someone else? If so, utilize communication and other strategies to navigate the situation. Finally, is the stressor something that is entirely out of your control? If the stressor is beyond your control, remind yourself this is not the area to waste your energy in, and instead, focus on healthy ways to cope and adapt to the situation.
Use Mindful Coping Techniques
Mindful coping techniques can help our body respond more healthily whenever we cannot control or change a difficult situation. While the issue might be chronic and long-lasting, how our body reacts to it does not have to be. Practices like deep breathing, grounding, and meditation will allow you to better control your response by slowing down your heart rate and breathing and giving your mind a break. It is easy to let our thoughts spiral into thoughts that dwell on the past or worry about future what-ifs. These mindful practices encourage you to be more present with thoughtful responses and big-picture thinking. Journaling is another technique that can help you reflect on emotions and write down specific thoughts and feelings instead of letting those thoughts snowball inside your mind. Similar to journaling, the addition of practicing gratitude encourages you to shift your thoughts from hyper-focusing on the stressor or challenge and instead spend time pondering positive things in your life. Coping techniques do not necessarily fix a situation, but practicing them can give you the peace and perspective needed to respond more appropriately.
Practice the 4As of Stress Management
The 4As of stress management (avoid, alter, accept, and adapt) help you navigate coping with stress healthily and productively. Aim to avoid stressors that you can change. Rearrange your surroundings, know when to say no, and prioritize your to-do list. Alter stressors that you cannot entirely change. You can alter your situation by practicing communication, setting clear boundaries, and planning. Next, accept stressors beyond your control and will likely stick around for a while. Acceptance can come by talking with a trusted friend or professional, avoiding negative self-talk, and focusing on what you can learn from the situation. Finally, practice adapting your expectations during prolonged stress and ongoing challenges. Adapt by finding areas where you can be more flexible, pause to see the possibilities in the bigger picture, and practice gratitude. Following these steps can help you manage unavoidable challenges.
Take a Break
As stress piles on and you’re unsure what to do next, consider taking a small break. Give yourself space to step away from the situation physically and mentally. If you have time, take a walk, read a book, or talk with a friend. If you cannot take a long break, pause for a few moments to stretch, listen to a favorite song, or practice a quick, mindful coping technique. A break can help you return to the situation with clear and rational thoughts.
Know When to Get Extra Support
Don’t wait until life becomes overwhelming to seek help from a professional. Seek support if you notice stress is affecting your daily activities, consuming your thoughts, or interrupting your sleep. Life can be full of unexpected twists and turns. It is impossible to plan for all these challenges, but working with a professional counselor or therapist can help you find the tools and strategies you need to cope and find resiliency.
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